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使用電腦為學生日常生活的一部分,但當電腦壞了的時候,你們會怎麼辨?
故此,電腦硬件與文學小品合作舉辦作文比賽,題目為<<沒有電腦的日子>>,
評審員為電腦硬件版主 hixyz111、砌機版主 luckkan、文學小品版主 壞男孩、[SYSS]Fantasma。
至於獎勵方面,請留意下面。
參加獎(無限): 50分
優異獎(3名): 200分
第三名(1名): 500分
第二名(1名): 700分
第一名(1名): 1000分
比賽規條:
一、可使用中文或英文作賽。中文字限為最少500字、英文字限為最少300字。
二、提交方法:可以到本帖提交,並使用hide代碼。
三、每人只可交一份。
四、不得抄襲。(抄襲者即扣300分)
五、截止日期為二零零七年四月十五日。
六、即使於截止日期前提交,亦可在截止日期前作無限次修改。
七、字數不足每滿20字將扣積分獎勵10分,最多扣獎勵60分。
評分細則:
一、內容(50%)
1)有創作性
2)帶出新觀點
3)切合有關電腦主題
4)符合生活上之處境
二、修辭用語(30%)
1)用詞恰當
2)簡潔合理
3)語句修飾
三、結構(20%)
1)段落分明
2)行文流暢
3)標點正確
四、扣分
1)字數不足每滿20字將扣總分2分,最多扣10分
2)若內容含有粗俗詞句將被取消資格
3)內容過於侮辱性質將被取消資格
以上評分細則由[SYSS]Fantasma所著,若有任何疑問,歡迎以短訊提出意見。
最後更新: 17/3/2007 評審烈女 退出評審團
最後更新: 18/4/2007 All comments and marks will be given after 26/4/2007
General comments given by [SYSS]Fantasma:
1) Although there were very few competitors,
two of them did very well and had excellent creativity to mention about "no computer".
2) Some writings/essays were very poor, they did not pay much attention in gramma, especially in English.
3) Some did not have enough words, so marks penalty would be given.
4) Since the topic was "without computer", the contents should be imgained more,
that means "unreal condition" can develop further more.
5) Good to use English in the competition, at least for me, bouns will be given.
6) Every competitors will have their marks, rank, comments (but not general comments) after 26/4/2007.
That's the end of my general comments in this competitions. I will also add more comments here later.
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Comment on daniel06 by [SYSS]Fantasma:
Poor English.
You should check and proof-read your writing.
Not enough word and you just say something "rubbish".
Not creativity, not good idea.
Full-stop should be used after a complete sentence.
Mark by [SYSS]Fantasma:
1) 10
2) 5
3) 5
4) -10
Total: 10 marks
If one day my computer is broken,I will get bored,because i couldn't play.
and I can't go to nakuz,that I may cry all day.
And what i will do,
If i couldn't use,
Do I'll wait every day,
then wait the day passed thorugh?
Or i need to do my homework by the computer,
Then how I'll do?
Computer is useful,
The company needs it to do,
So if my computer is broken,
I will ask Father to help me to fix,
So I don't need to wait the day passed thorugh,
But I promise my Father,
That i will not play the computer all day through.
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Comment on 天使b‥◆ by [SYSS]Fantasma:
平淡而穏實, 可加上創意 行文暢順 Mark by [SYSS]Fantasma:
1) 25
2) 19
3) 13
4) -0
Total: 57 marks 電腦基本上已經成為了我生活中不可缺少的一部份,每天放學後回家,我也必定會使用到它。
電腦亦成為了都市人的一樣必需品,很難想像到如果有一天忽然沒有了電腦,這個世界會變成怎樣。我想人類可能會亂成一團吧,無法傳達訊息、各大小公司無法運作、交易中斷……嚴重的影響和破壞。
如果有一天我起床的時候,發現我這位好伙伴病了,那我又會怎樣呢?
我想我必定會大嚇一跳,首先會先嘗試按一下開關掣,看看運作如何,然後可能會走到母親處大吵一遍,要求她盡快找電腦技工來修理。再會想一想為何電腦會壞掉,是不是姊姊或弟弟弄成的呢?還是……由於長期操勞過度所致?
然後,接下來沒有電腦的日子,我想我只好去看看課外書或電視解悶吧。因為我始終不是一名好學生,可不會拿出課本來溫習課程,乖乖的順從吩咐做功課、練習。而我心中的不滿和對這名好友的記掛就只好一直抑壓在心了。但如果有時我不能壓下怨氣的話,那就只能為我手上的書的安危好好祈禱一下了……
而當我知道電腦重新修理好後,我立即便會欣喜的重新坐在電腦面前,再次與我的伙伴並肩作戰,對周邊的事情視而不見。
總括而言,電腦是我的好伙伴、好拍擋,它助我了解更多的資訊、知識,如果現在的我失去了它的話便可能會發狂呢。
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Comment on Kelvin.C by [SYSS]Fantasma:
Please pay attention on gramma You should link the structure by conjuction. You should deduce the overall meanings of your writing. Mark by [SYSS]Fantasma:
1) 22
2) 17
3) 8
4) -0
Total: 47 marks
Holy crap! Oh my goodness!
I will absolutely get mad if my computer breaks down.
I am a little poor pitiful child, how can this evil thing happen on me?
How evil is it?
Truly I am so along without my laptop.
You can't be imagine how horrible if it is happen.
Jesus, I can't play my computer games or no Internet!
God! I am pretty sure I will in trouble.
Everything is hopeless!
Honestly, I can't be live without my computer! Seriously I can't.
For example, I can't go to nakuz.
It is my responsible to go to nakuz and make sure it is running well every single day.
Computer is a important part of my life. It is almost the most important stuff for me.
I spend most of time on my computer everyday.
I will helpless! I will pray to the God although I don't believe him.
Of cause Jesus won't help me(Canadian style joke). I extremely love my computer.
The computer break down, it is same meaning with lose the contact with my friends, my family.
Well, probably you guys are thinking this kid just use his computer for playing.
Be careful to don't let me know, lots of laugh.
Let me just say something about using computer for school assignment.
I always need to search lots of informations for my science assignments, projects.
I think I will lose all the marks if I have no computer. And my low marks will get lower.
What a sadly story.You should feeling sad!
Also my English homework. I have to use the dictionary from the Internet.
There are so much difficult words.
There is only one good point of the computer break down totally.
I can buy a new and better one. Lots of laugh again.
I hope it won't be break down forever.
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Comment on 烈女 by [SYSS]Fantasma:
創意高, 情感豐冨 行文暢順 能以家人背景為背景, 新鮮感強 上中之作 Mark by [SYSS]Fantasma:
1) 34
2) 22
3) 14
4) -0
Total: 70 marks
我很喜歡用電腦。
電腦基本上已成為我生命中不能決少的物品,更成為我的精神支柱
父母都說我這是電腦中毒了,可我並沒有理會。它就像我身體的一部份,每天不會一會它,我就會渾身不自在
今天,我如常的坐到電腦面前,正想開啟時......我發現硬件不見了!我的所有東西都在電腦中!是誰這麼「大整估」?
媽的!一定是爸媽了!他們一直叫我不要再沈迷下去,昨天才罵了我一頓。
一定是他們!一定!可惡....電腦呀.....我很想見你.....
這麼想著,我就像發了瘋一樣,拿起錢包,進入了家附近的一間網巴。
我們又見面了。
看著網巴中運作正常的電腦,我強忍著想大力擁抱它的衝動,坐到了它面前。
我用了我所有的金錢,在網巴中玩了一整晚,就算父母不斷撥我的手提電話我也不理會。
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